How to inspire your relationship and sex life

What turns you on? Do you know that you are auto-erotic? Can you allow yourself to be auto-erotic or have you spent most of your life suppressing your sexuality and desire?

“sexual desire is energy- a sustainable resource that’s available to us if we want it, even those of us who may not have it right now.” Gina Ogden; The Return of Desire.

So many of us live our lives numb to pleasure and desire. We have put up walls and defences to traumas that we aren’t even aware about. We find our sexual relationships stuck in Ground Hog day, repeating painful patterns that end up in even more defences.

Research has shown that sexual and spiritual experience share a common and undeniable core quality: a hunger for connection and meaning. (Ogden 2008)

Your sexuality is not just about intercourse. Sexual energy is creative energy, it is inspiring energy, it is divine energy. You can feel it when you feel connected to the earth and your authentic self. Being auto-erotic is being turned on by life, turned on by a beautiful sunset. It is being turned on by the way we can move and how healthy we feel. It is being turned on by an exciting and new idea. It is random waves of euphoria that wash over us at unexpected moments during an average day. It is feeling connected, to ourself, to others, to strangers, to the universe. It is a way of being.

When discover our own “turn on” and feel “auto-erotic” then we can bring this to our relationship to re-inspire it. It is then no longer the responsibility of our partner to turn us on, because we already are. This takes a lot of pressure and expectations off our relationship to fulfill us. We are then bringing a renewed and fresh energy to our relationship. Your partner will truly appreciate you more and probably fall in love with you all over again.

OYoga’s approach to sexual desire is much more than physical. Your sexuality is connected to your spirituality and if you allow yourself to go deeper and find orgasmic flow you can construct your life around what is meaningful and inspirational.

OYoga’s philosophy centres on inspiring your life and keeping you turned on by life. OYoga and Orgasmic flow is a transformational practice and brings pleasure that touches your core. You can create an energy that not only infuses and inspires your own heart and soul but also inspires your relationship.

Orgasm wakes us up and ignites our energy. Orgasmic Flow takes us deeper into a spiritual realm of inspiration and divine connection. Connecting with your own orgasmic flow enhances your relationship with yourself and your partner.

I invite you to re-inspire your life and relationship with OYoga and Intimate Inspirations.

Connection before Correction

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Do you find yourself in frequent argument with your partner? Are the frequent arguments usually about the same topic? Do you get exasperated and feel that your partner never listens to you  and completely disregards your view on a particular topic? Do you feel they are arguing just because they want to be right? Chances are you are too!

When our busy lives take over and we spend less and less time connecting with our spouses,  our connection and intimacy suffers. The result; more frequent arguments…. over petty things. We stop listening to each other. We stop making time for each other. We avoid hard conversations. We don’t feel like connecting and being intimate because we are holding on to resentment. It becomes a catch 22 situation, “I’ll make love with my partner when I’m not so angry with him”.

Find your own orgasm, bring your own turned on feeling to your relationship.

Whats going on? What can you do to get out of this familiar but damaging pattern? The answer is child psychology. No your partner isn’t a child but child psychology can gives us great advice that is also relevant to our relationship.

Child psychology now tells us that attachment is the most important thing our kids need. When they feel secure and are close to parents they are more likely to listen to their parents and accept guidance and correction. They are less likely to be led astray by peer group pressure or become peer focused.

Connect before you correct.

Connect before you correct is how we should approach our children and our spouses. If we are not connected then trust is weakened. If we are always yelling trust is weakened. If we are always criticising then trust is weakened.

Connect…… verbally and physically.

We need physical connection more than anything in the world. Physical connection is like air. We shrivel and die without it. Our relationships shrivel and die without it. Our connection dies without it. Hold on to your kids and hold on to your partner.

Physical connection builds trust. We all need someone that we trust most in this world and that should be our parents for kids and our spouse for adults.

When we focus on intimacy, physical and verbal, then the subjects that cause issues are better received. There is less rebellion and more understanding. When we are full of oxytocin the cuddle hormone, then we are not going to want to fight about it.

Most couples have a ‘hot topic’, one that is guaranteed to trigger defensiveness and criticism. How do you approach these topics? Cuddle first? Well yes but make sure the cuddle bank is full. This is a long term investment. And do you know what really gets a relationship buzzing? What was that drug you both felt when you first fell in love? Dopamine, yes dopamine makes you feel soooooo good. Combine dopamine with oxytocin to stabilise it and you have a fabulous concoction for a great long term connection.

Where does dopamine come from? Orgasm. Where does orgasm come from? That’s easy to answer if you are a guy. A little more tricky for women but it doesn’t have to be. It is not your partners’ responsibility to make you orgasm. It’s really up to you to find your own orgasm first, your own turn on so that you can bring it to your relationship. This takes so much pressure off him (or her if you are in a same sex relationship).

Find your orgasm, find your turn on, come to your relationship turned on by life!

Let your intimacy inspire you both.