Having children is hard on both parents but especially the women. What we used to create that child is then severely compromised after we have that child; our sexuality. It suffers. It suffers from sleep deprivation, it suffers because of our now distorted body and body image, it suffers because all our energy and concentration is focused on one thing, our child and getting through each day (and night!)
We put it on the back burner because there are more important things at hand. We say “not tonight” because sleep is far far more important right now. We say no because frankly now days it’s hard to even just look in the mirror at our naked body let alone get turned on by it and having to share it. And when you are still breastfeeding those lovely once upon a time symbols of sexiness just don’t want to be touched by yet another human being!
But let me tell you, your sexuality IS IMPORTANT. It is a part of your identity and power. It is a part of your wholeness and mental health. When we neglect that part of ourselves for whatever reason we neglect our source of life energy, source of creativity, our source of inspiration and intuition.
Reconnecting with your sexuality after child birth is a part of maintaining mental strength in the most tumultuous and toughest stage of a woman’s life. It can help pull you out of the depths of post natal depression. Did I mention your sexuality is important?
We actually need to reconnect with ourselves before we can fully give to our partner. We need to re-ignite our own ‘turn on’ before attempting to bring back the passion in our relationship, and that can be a very hard thing to do.
Addressing the topic of sexuality even with a lovely devoted and compassionate partner can be hard. There are so many layers of shame to drill through. You might even need a jackhammer!
Be brave, it’s worth it. You are worth it. You owe it to yourself and nobody else. Your experience of your own sexuality colours your whole life. Own it!
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